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Cruiser
Posts: 68
LONDONDERRY NH | This is just for fun-found on another site
Harley rider pre-ride check off list:
1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the �Live to ride�ride to live� statement on gas tank lid.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look in mirror and perfect the �I�m a bad ass motherfucker� harley riding scowl.
6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
9. Leather pants
10. Gloves
11. Wrap around sunglasses
12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badasses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
13. CAT work boots (new)
14. Leather vest with some �chapter� like: North chapter of pig fucking obese attention whore douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
21. Saddle bags attached to pick up and store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of shit down the road. |
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Iron Butt
Posts: 1158
Richmond, Virginia | Now why you gotta associate these guys with gay people? Gay guys dont ride bikes like that, or dress like that.
WHY U GOTTA DIS DA GAYS " Dont be a Hater LOL
BTW you forgot
22. Spend as much at the HD clothing store as you do on your bike, so eventhough its broken down, you can still let people know
you're a "HARLEY BIKER BAD ASS" cause your belt buckle says so.
23. Polish the chain that leads from your hand stitched leather wallet up to your belt buckle... or like other people just use your dogs
collar chain, the look is the same.
24. Make sure that you have the fake pony tail made from fried hair of some non human species tucked well up into your skull do wrap
so it doesnt fall off while going down the highway.
25. Burp and fart a lot , it really improves the image you are attempting to project.
26. Put on your garb, spread your legs while you walk, hang your gut out, and wear nothing but a sweaty vest as a shirt, then purposely
visit your local Victory Dealership just to re-confirm that these arent the bikes for you, and you arent the rider for them. But
to make yourself feel better, walk out purposely shaking your head from side to side hoping that all the salespeople will see this
over exaggeration of disappointment that you want to express as you infer that you are "under impressed at those bikes". Its ok
WE really know that the negative head shaking really means " FUCK, I should have bought one of those, im a dumb ass". |
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New user
Posts: 3
Greenville,SC | 27. Make sure you have a quart of oil in your bag.
28. Make sure the bitch on back is still there, do to the vibration of the bike!
29. Last but not least! Make sure the sock in your pants,( because you don't have the balls to ride a Victory) Is still there!!!
Edited by rozellms 2010-03-04 9:43 PM
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Cruiser
Posts: 70
Central Victoria, Australia |
gosh does have this stuff in our forum, make us a bad as them??
i did have a laugh though |
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Iron Butt
Posts: 1158
Richmond, Virginia | Its all just for fun. I am almost certain that on their site they have a huge list of Anti Vision comments ( would be fun to read if someone can find them),,, beware going in enemy territory, you might have to buy a tee shirt belt buckle, fake pony tail, leather vest with tassles to blend in before you do your espionage work.
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Tourer
Posts: 301
Buffalo Grove,Ill | Vision pre ride check list :
1: ) Check to make sure you have gas.
2: ) check to make sure you have money for more gas after riding all day.
3: ) um............guess thats it.
Edited by clubford00 2010-03-07 1:23 PM
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Cruiser
Posts: 71
Bayonne, NJ | VaParadox - 2010-03-02 11:14 PM
Now why you gotta associate these guys with gay people? Gay guys dont ride bikes like that, or dress like that.
WHY U GOTTA DIS DA GAYS " Dont be a Hater LOL
BTW you forgot
22. Spend as much at the HD clothing store as you do on your bike, so eventhough its broken down, you can still let people know
you're a "HARLEY BIKER BAD ASS" cause your belt buckle says so.
23. Polish the chain that leads from your hand stitched leather wallet up to your belt buckle... or like other people just use your dogs
collar chain, the look is the same.
24. Make sure that you have the fake pony tail made from fried hair of some non human species tucked well up into your skull do wrap
so it doesnt fall off while going down the highway.
25. Burp and fart a lot , it really improves the image you are attempting to project.
26. Put on your garb, spread your legs while you walk, hang your gut out, and wear nothing but a sweaty vest as a shirt, then purposely
visit your local Victory Dealership just to re-confirm that these arent the bikes for you, and you arent the rider for them. But
to make yourself feel better, walk out purposely shaking your head from side to side hoping that all the salespeople will see this
over exaggeration of disappointment that you want to express as you infer that you are "under impressed at those bikes". Its ok
WE really know that the negative head shaking really means " FUCK, I should have bought one of those, im a dumb ass".
Here is a friendly biker for u lol
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Cruiser
Posts: 70
Central Victoria, Australia | Vision check list should include allow extra time for photos and questions from people
I wouldn't own up to having Glenns piccie in my outer |
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Harley riders pre ride check list
