Visionary
Posts: 2027
Brighton, TN | I found it on another site of all things. One I rarely go to, but I posted it over there. Sure was hoping here would have had it because there was a lot of banter to go along with it. And of course, the whole story isn't there, just this part.
This from another forum where I posted the story. It is from a while ago on a street bike, but nonetheless entertaining to some degree, and the calamity of the occassion.
Oh, and I split my pants in the crotch the same day as I went to get new tires.
I finally know how long a set of tires will last! Yes this is a carryover from the other post about the 16mm tool.
So, In my case a set of tires will last about 7000 miles. Then you get a screw in the front one and cuts and a nail in the rear. All of which force a new installation of shiny black tires.
I know you want to hear the story, (Swig, Swig some H20, really need to go refill my DP). So there I was tied to the bed, she come in with a can of motor oil, a saddle and a bullwhip. She (interrupt this story - OOOPS wrong story and site.)
So, there I was driving home from work and I managed to roll up behind a woman on a 883 HD. I pulled in behind her and cruisin' right along. She had some ape hangers around shoulder height and would continually remove the left hand to either get a smoke or to relax the arm and hand. It didn't look comfortable. After a little bit, she started getting more agressive weaving in and out of traffic and I let her go on. I am more laid back, don't need to risk injury on my commute, put me on a track maybe a different story. Little bit later, I pass her and then she pulls in behind me. Maybe she felt threatened, who knows. Then she spoke and then it didn't matter, her grasp of the English language eluded her.
Anyway, I let her go in front after our little chit chat and I was following her. We came up on a semi in the slow lane. The car in the fast lane was about 20 - 30 feet behind the semi. She rolls up behind the semi, scoootches over and roars past. I give it about 20 seconds and then decide to do the same thing. Somehow it didn't pan out for me like it did her.
So, there I was, I radio the tower all clear, Tower responds, "All Clear!" I accelerate and lean to the left and drop into the fast lane. No sooner had I done this and gotten about half way past this "Rubber Duck" (Old country song about truckers), that this SOB, *&^&$#F%^&^*, *^%$%%$&(((((<, &^%$^*&*&)*&^%, ^&%&%^, *&^%^%^, *^^%$, *^&%%, started coming over! So, using some of the Queen's English, I eased over and heavy in the throttle, no shoulder of course, just a white line and then a large patch of median dirt. I tried to ride that white line for all it was worth, somehow I ran out of white line because it turned into dirt and grass. I can confirm it does pretty decent as a dirt bike at 70mph. That Rubber Duck kept coming and I started looking for more pavement. Couldn't find any. I thought about shutting it down and braking hard to get totally out of his way but then it occurred to me there was a car close behind and that was all I needed to avoid the truck and get plowed by the car behind me.
So, there I was, sucking up grass and dirt like it was pavement. Still heavy in the throttle just trying to get around, I know probably should have gotten a hold of some brake rotors and shut it down but somehow that didn't seem like a logical path, I wanted AWAY. WAIT, what's that you ask, all that white, big flat sheets of #$%#$, !@#@#$, on the side of the road in my path, in the MEDIAN, piled three of four or more high, spanning about 30 feet. Looks like F**&& sheet rock, CRAP, I already got a load in my drawers and I don't know that PalmBeachRiders protective undergarments would have held up. What am I going to do with this next load?
So, there I was, load in my pants, more crap to avoid and one helluva bike so far and another load on its way. What to do, Grip those heated grips, like it was a twentysomething hottie, put a lot of pressure on those Jinormous floorboards and come out of the seat a little and listen to the holy crap of noise and commotion begin and end in a matter of a second. By the time, I get over that hump and finish my load in my pants, I ease back on the road, WELL past all traffic, I probably had them hitting their brakes thinking they were going to get to help pick up the pieces, like it was the space shuttle. I was already writing out my will on my FREE hand just in case.
Now, that I am past all of that, just need to find a place to unload the Wranglers, they are feeling quite a bit heavy. Also, looking for the available SO, got a little bit of TENSION to unload. Of course, the other thought that goes through my head, I don't want to be the first and the third Vision in for repair. That wouldn't be good.
Amazingly enough, I made it through all of that, the next morning go out and find my front tire is flat, big ol' screw sticking through it. Call up the dealer tells me he can get one by Friday, I complain a little says he'll call me back see if he can find one. Calls right back, from Polaris tire was going to be $208, from local wholesaler $178, so I save a few bucks. Take it down there, they do the recall and then start on the front tire. As they are getting their stuff together I look at the rear tire. Gee, what could that be but a two inch long finishing nail. Pull it out and "SSSSSSS" is all I hear. Couple of complimentary gashes in the tire, I just start laughing.
You see, there I was, had a Doctor's appt to go to in 30 minutes and I got two flat tires, and a bike on the lift in the service bay. I talk to Main Dude (didn't know if he wants me to use his name or not), and he arranges for me to take their Demo Vision. I decline and ask if I could ride one of the others, he recommends the Vegas, I say sure I'll give it a go. Man, that is definitely two different bikes.
Now, I get to Dr's office and get a call from dealer and he tells me the rear tire is leaking air out of the slashes. Gotta replace it. More hysterical laughter. I think the rear tire was around $218. Then labor was $35 for the front and $55 for the rear. I don't even really hear or listen to him. He said leaking I said replace it and Thanks.
Finish with Doctor, swing a leg back on the Vegas. Don't know how guys ride at least without a windshield. OUCH! Bike has Stage one Kit and is good and Rappy Loud, kinda fun. Anyway, get back and I find one of the mechanics, working on my bike, meet me on the showroom floor and he reaches under the counter to get a Yellow Pages book. I jokingly stated, "That don't look good, I hope your looking for food!" Nope, no 16mm tool to take front tire off, and unable to locate one. More hysterical laughter, you just can't write stuff this good. They mod a 17mm and get the tire off. I ride home, not quite sure where I want to go!
So, in summary, I would have sworn I had cleaned off the underside of my bike with what had just happened, lower plastic destroyed, oil filter gone, kick stand gone, belt guards sheared off. Suprisingly enough, no damage that I can tell yet, and I've looked, but may have overlooked something, the shock and the smell still hasn't worn off.
The bike was absolutely amazing. When I hit the median, it didn't start wiggling and worming around, it just stayed where I put it at 70mph. Hit all that crap in the median and still kept going straight and then eased right back on the road. Simply amazing!!!!! Really, the only damage I see is that the hand grips now have custom finger indentations on them, and the seat may need to be reupholstered. Other than that, couldn't be more happy.
Buddy of mine asked if I was looking for a place to lay it down. I said HECK NO! If I ain't about to hit something that I can't avoid, I'm using the laws of physics to keep me upright and going. I must have done the right calculations because that wild beast and I are still in one piece minus a set of used tires.
Whew, got to go wash again smell getting a little strong again, how long does it take for that smell to go away?
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Pt 1 Sheet rock Post
