You’ve all seen the Gieco commercials with the squirrels that run out in the middle of the road and cause a car to swerve to miss it only to crash. Then another squirrel comes over and gives high fives to the offending squirrel. Well, what most don’t realize is that these guys are real and are living in the Detroit area. There’s a whole burrow of them and the ones in the commercial are Ralphie and Scratch. There’s also Bucky, Jake, and Slip. They like to keep score on the daily accidents and even give themselves little rewards for their take. At the end of the day they come back to the burrow and discuss and rate the take for the day.

Bucky and Jake might go out and when they come back Scratch would ask them what they got. Bucky might say “I had a Corvette, or Cadillac.” Then Scratch would place a credit mark on a chart for Bucky. They evaluate each take and assess points depending on make and year of the vehicle. They not only get credit for cars and trucks, but motorcycles as well. You might hear around the burrow “I had a Suzuki” or “I had a Honda” also.

Well recently, Ralphie and Scratch was on the exit ramp from I 75 south to I 94 West, a ramp that is fairly tight with jersey walls on both sides, leaving little room to avoid the walls if having to swerve. So there Ralphie was as he took his position knowing the motorcycle coming around the sweep would swerve to avoid him. However, to his dismay and Scratch’s as he stood and watch the motorcyclist holding his ground without batting an eye or flinching, leaving poor Ralphie reading GR8WAY on the license plate as his life left his limp little body.

Sadly, Scratch returned to the burrow without Ralphie, his head hung low for his friend. All the other squirrels gathered around anticipating the worse from the looks of Scratch and waited. All of them stood in a silence, dreading to hear the news when Bucky finally piped up and asked “What happened to Ralphie.” Scratch paused for a moment and swallowed hard as he let them know that Ralphie was not coming back and said “Ralphie had a Vision….”

A true story; sad, but true.

...he had a Vision. get it? vision?

 Yeah, poor guy. We never hear it from their perspective. Before the PETA, SPCA, or I get eaten by giant killer squirrels let me tell you what happened from my perspective.

It is lunch rush coming out of Detroit, a total madhouse. I'm in stop and go traffic on I-75 south and I wanted to jimmy over to I-94 to I-96 that will carry back to I-75 much faster than staying on I-75. When I finally get to the ramp it is wide open and so was I. Never expecting to see a squirrel in the concrete jungle, I was miffed and amused at the FLC on an exit ramp. It being a tight turn and knowing squirrels have a tendency to dart around, which when I try to avoid them, I'll still hit them, I kept my track. So the little guy is scampering across and I make the decision, my life or his and I chose his, fully expecting for him to continue his journey across with just the wind whipping his tail and jetting off. Instead, he hampers down dead in my track. Even up to impact I expect him to zip one way or another when I felt the dreaded bump thump and watched him rolling in my direction limp on the road way.

My first thought was "what is a squirrel doing there?" and my next thought was, "they a little slow around here." Then my next thought concerning his dimise was HE HAD A VISION and was swept away into heaven.